messy.
disgusting.
embarassment.
insecurity.
tears.
shame.
secrets.


are beautiful.


eeeiiiiiieeee my ribs sing.
break on out of this funk. funky lunky foot. with spangles.

Edward Gorey makes my soul clamor to mother's shoulder in fear.

These current trends will one day be vintage and these smiles will one day be memories.

yours.

this is just life.

there is nothing else.

I can't go back.

Home.
Slept more.
Had actual dreams in my head at night that lingered with me through the early morning hours.
talked more.
laughed more. truly, rather.
realized that I enjoy wandering around in my underware. there.
gazed more.
realized that I don't really have to do anything perscribed.
but there is a reason that it is the perscribed formula.
I can't plan any of this.
I shouldn't
Relax. Just breathe. This really isn't that intense. you've got more time than you think.





who do I perform for?
in life. me.
that's all. that should be all.
not a standard of perfection but a goal of happpiness and truthfulness in oneself.

easy to type.
learnt in 4th grade.
hard to apply.
father. 53. tells tales.

the eastern corner of my mind urges me to keep going.
to be completely blunt and ernest when it's necessary
having that be okay.
rather than choking through tears or anger
wandering around campus with tears frozen to my face.
I didn't realize that it at the time.
cherish is the word I used to describe...

and I do. cherish you.